Village Of The Tooned
by Capital-C
Summary: An Animaniacs Tale of Terror.
1. Chapter 1

Primary Disclaimer: I make no claim of any kind to this work of fiction. It was written by Troy Klinger, who also answered to the pen name Furry. I am merely posting it here because it's come to my attention that the website on which it was originally posted has ceased to exist. The author has, to the best of my recollection, previously expressed a willingness to have his story shared to other websites by readers. And naturally, he is to be fully credited in this situation. To insure that his status as author is made perfectly clear, it will be mentioned in a short note at the top of each chapter.

Secondary Disclaimer: Myself and the author make no claim to any official Warner Brothers characters contained within this story, or to Animaniacs as a whole. No profit is gained from the displaying of this work.

VILLAGE OF THE TOONED

or

THE BURBANK KOO-KOOS an Animaniacs Tale of Terror by "Furry"

Prologue

Slappy Squirrel was sitting in her favorite easy chair, sipping a cup of tea and browsing her Reader's Digest Condensed version of 'The Anarchist Cookbook', when her little nephew Skippy wandered into their treehouse.

"Hi Aunt Slappy!" he said cheerfully.

"How was school today, Skippy?" Slappy asked, not bothering to look up. "Learn anything useful?"

"You bet!" Skippy said, putting his bookbag down. "Today we learned where babies come from."

"PPFFFBBBTT!" "Hey, neat spit-take, Aunt Slappy! Can I try that?"

"No!" Slappy snapped. "Er, you was saying something about babies?"

"Yeah. Today the teacher told us all about the stork," Skippy said as he walked into the kitchen and started to raid the cookie jar. "You know, how he carries bundles with babies in them and leaves them on new mothers' doorsteps?"

"Oh, yeah," Slappy said. "Well, it could've been worse-you might have had Joycelin Elders for a substitute."

Skippy came back with several fistfuls of cookies and went over to the window. He set the cookies down on the sill and started staring out up at the sky.

"Trying to find that stork?" Slappy asked, smiling.

"Yeah, Aunt Slappy," Skippy said eagerly. "That'd be neat!"

"Well, I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it," Slappy said. "He's about as tricky as old Saint Nick. Even I've never seen him."

Late that night, a winged figure flapped through the darkened skies over the Warner Brothers Studio. It went unnoticed except by a large chicken, whose bright, sharp eyes recognized it immediately. It was a stork, on its way to make a delivery. The chicken noticed that there was something different about this stork. Different, and wrong.

Maybe there was something...unwholesome...in the gleam of its eyes, or perhaps the way it flapped its wings seemed strange and unnatural. Whatever the reason, the apparition sent shivers up the chicken's spine.

"Buk-BuKAWW!" he shrieked, running around in fright.

It dashed here and there, trying to alert its neighbors to the terror flying overhead. But of course, being a giant chicken, no one took it seriously.


	2. Chapter 2

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter One

Dawn came and sent a shaft of light through the skylight in the Warner Brothers Studio Water Tower. It slanted downward and rested on a bed, where, tucked in amidst the frilly sheets, Dot Warner lay slumbering. It fell on her face, gently coaxing her awake. She sat up, stretched and yawned, and now fully awake, bounced out of bed. She looked over at the far end of the bedroom where her brothers Yakko and Wakko were still fast asleep in their own beds. As usual, Wakko was snoring, and Yakko was mumbling to himself. Deciding not to bother waking them, Dot padded out of the bedroom in her nightgown and slippers.

She headed towards the kitchen when she heard it. Perking up her ears, she walked slowly over to the Water Tower door, and opened it. There, on the walkway in front of the door, was a little basket. And in the basket was a small baby, gurgling and cooing.

Its fur was all white, and it had deep blue eyes. However, it had floppy ears and a floppy tail, the cutest little cheek tufts, and a red button nose. Big paw-like feet and little three-fingered hands complete with gloves made the identification certain. There was no mistaking what species it was.

The Warner Sister reached down and gathered up the little Warner baby in her arms. She just stared at it, shocked speechless.

As she stood there holding the infant, Yakko and Wakko, now awake, wandered over to see what was going on.

Wakko looked at tiny bundle and whispered, "Faboo!"

Yakko just stared at Dot and said, "Er, Sis, is there something you should be telling us?"

Similar surprises were occurring at other homes around the studio lot. Apparently the stork had made more than one delivery that night.

Flavio Hippo stood in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and gargling with Acmevian artesian spring water, when his wife Marita walked in.

"Flavio, darling, I think we need to talk," she said in a distressed voice.

"Whatever is it, my delicate morning glor-" Flavio said as he turned to face Marita.

He stopped dead when he saw the baby hippo in Marita's arms.

"Is this supposed to be fashionable?" Marita asked, truly perplexed.

She handed the child to her husband. Flavio looked down at the little white, roly-poly, blue-eyed hippo girl.

"How enchanting," he said at last. "Why Marita, don't you know? Parenthood is the 'in' thing these days." Smiling at his wife, he added, "What a wonderful accessory to our lifestyles, no?"

Runt wandered into the studio back alley that (for the present) served as his and Rita's home.

"Rita? Are you awake, Rita?" he asked.

He saw Rita curled up on top of a cardboard box. Going over to her, he looked in amazement at his dear friend. She was quietly nursing a tiny, snow-white kitten. She stared at the little creature, and then looked up at Runt with a dazed, misty-eyed smile.

"Oh," Runt said softly. "Oh, Rita..."

"Brain? Oh Brain!?" Pinky shouted. "Lookie here!"

Brain sat up from the small nest he used in one corner of the ACME Laboratory animal cage the two experimental mice shared.

"It is early, Pinky," he said in his usual cross monotone. "Too early to be up after a hard night of attempted world domination."

"But you've got to see this, Brain!" Pinky said with excitement.

"What is it, Pinky?" Brain asked sullenly.

He was answered by his partner holding up a small white baby mouse.

"Look, Brain," Pinky gushed. "I'm a mum! NARF!"

The Brain stared at his friend, a slight nervous tic his only reaction.

"Where did you get that...that..." he started.

"It's a boy, Brain," Pinky added helpfully.

"...that child, Pinky?" Brain finished.

"The stork brought it!" Pinky replied. "Zounds, Brain-I thought you knew about the stork, surely?"

Looking down at the little mouseling, he whispered, "Kootchie-kootchie-koo!" To Brain, he added, "I think he has your ears."

Brain hurled himself at Pinky and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Pinky-think!" he shouted. "We are two MALE lab mice. What you are suggesting is not only personally repugnant, it is biologically impossible! Now get rid of that thing!"

"POIT!" Pinky said as Brain grabbed him. "Get rid of him?" he asked, shocked. "But Brain, he's my son!"

"That...is...absurd, Pinky," Brain snapped. "It probably belongs to Billy down the hall. Now I don't want to hear any more of your foolishness."

"It can't be hers, Brain," Pinky said defiantly. "It was on our doorstep. Face it-I'm a mother, and that's that!"

Brain just sat down and held his head. "I need an aspirin," he groaned.

Skippy Squirrel woke up to the sound of his Aunt Slappy shouting.

"WHAT THE HOOEY MANURE IS GOING ON HERE? THAT LOUSY RAZZAFRACKIN' EXCUSE FOR A WRITER! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I'M GONNA..."

Skippy's delicate child's ears burned as he heard words not approved by the Fox censors. Holding his hands over them, he rushed down to see what the commotion was about.

There, in the thick blue fog formed by Slappy's curses, he saw his aunt standing in the doorway over a little basket. He went over to the basket, and saw a tiny white-furred baby squirrel. It looked up at Skippy with big blue eyes and giggled.

Skippy stood there, entranced by the little squirrel. Finally he looked up at Slappy. "The stork, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, kid-the stork," Slappy sighed. "Say 'hi' to your new cousin." Minerva Mink woke up, got out of bed, took a long, luxurious shower, brushed her thick, silky fur, and put on one of her more sexy outfits-the cute pink number she had bought for jogging the other day.

Stepping out the front door of her home in the hollow log beside Acme Pond, she nearly tripped over the small basket on the doorstep. She looked down and saw the beautiful little blonde, blue-eyed baby mink, gurgling and cooing up at her. Minerva's eyes rolled up in her head, and she passed out cold.


	3. Chapter 3

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Two

"But...but...he CAN'T be mine!" Dot cried.

"I'm sorry, Dot," Miss Nurse said gently. "But the tests are conclusive. You're the mother of a healthy baby boy."

"But I'm too young and too CUTE to be a mother!" Dot wailed, almost in tears. She looked at the little Warner in her arms and shook her head.

"You think YOU have problems, kid..." Slappy said as she walked into the Warner Brothers Studio infirmary. Holding the baby squirrel up for Miss Nurse to see, she asked, "What do you make of this, toots?"

Dot stared at the frail old squirrel with the little baby in her bony arms. Despite her own predicament, the Warner Sister couldn't help but giggle slightly. Blushing immediately, she said, "I'm-I'm sorry, Slappy."

"Not half as sorry as the joker responsible for this is going to be," the old squirrel growled.

Slappy felt something brush against her ankles. She looked down and saw Rita with her kitten in her mouth, holding the little thing by the scruff of its neck. The cat looked up at Miss Nurse with a puzzled expression.

"You too, kid?" Slappy asked.

The three new mothers were soon joined by the other three. Flavio and Marita strolled in, beaming with joy. Marita was holding the baby up and showing her off to everyone on the lot, and Flavio was busy handing out pink bubble gum cigars.

"Great news, people! Wonderful news!" he proclaimed to anyone within earshot. "The world is graced today by another Hippopotamus Trendolius! It is a cause for rejoicing, is it not?"

"I am gratified to see that SOMEONE is pleased by this turn of events," Brain said grimly, half-dragging Pinky and 'his' new baby into the infirmary. "Personally, I find the whole affair ridiculous in the extreme!" he added bitterly.

"Aw, Brain, you just have to get used to it," Pinky said. "I know it'll take some adjusting..."

"Enough, Pinky!" Brain snapped. Turning to Miss Nurse, he said, "You are a qualified medical practitioner. Would you kindly explain to my partner here the impossibility of his so-called 'motherhood'?"

Finally Minerva walked, or rather staggered, in. She looked like she had just received the business end of 'The Anvil Chorus'. Showing the baby mink to Miss Nurse, she mumbled, "Homina...homina...homina..."

As efficient as always, Miss Nurse performed the necessary tests. The results were unmistakable.

"These are indeed your children," she explained to the new mothers. "Even Pinky's-don't ask me how. I can't explain the white fur and blue eyes either, but they're not a defect," she added. "It's as if the children were all siblings somehow. But they are all perfectly healthy, and normal in every way."

And so it was that six new members joined the cast of Animaniacs. There were three boys: Smakko, the son of Dot; Rory, the son of Rita; and Dinky, the son of Pinky-and three girls: Spunky, the daughter of Slappy; Elan, the daughter of Marita; and Melody, the daughter of Minerva. Mr. Plotz, the studio CEO, reluctantly signed them on as extras.

"Maybe we can find SOME use for them," he said to Dr. Scratchinsniff later that day.

"Hoo boy," the studio psychiatrist replied. "This whole thing iz koo-koo, Mr. Plotz."

"Koo-koo," Plotz said quietly. A gleam formed in his eyes. "Yes, that's it!" he said more enthusiastically. "We'll call them the Koo-Koos! It'll be a new children's cartoon!"


	4. Chapter 4

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Three

Time passed, and the new mothers adjusted to the situation, each in their own way. Rita was the first to make the transition. Her feline maternal instincts had overwhelmed her the moment she saw Rory. Before the day was out she was acting as if she had raised kittens all of her life.

Runt was very understanding, in his usual blundering way. That evening, as he and Rita wandered back to their back alley home, he said, "He's a beautiful puppy, isn't he, Rita?"

Rita didn't look up; she was too absorbed in her own thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh yes," she said. "A beautiful puppy, that's for sure."

She didn't feel like explaining; this day was confusing enough as it was.

"Do you think he has my paws?" Runt asked casually.

Rita stopped short.

"Runt, what kind of dumb question is..." she started to ask, and then suddenly it hit her. "You...don't think..." she added slowly.

"I think he has my paws," Runt said confidently. "And my nose. Definitely-definitely my nose."

Rita shook her head in disbelief. She was about to make a smart remark when Runt cut her short. He puffed himself up, and said, "Er, Rita...I've been thinking..."

That's bad news, Rita thought.

"Er, I dunno how to say this," Runt continued, "but...would you let me help you raise our puppy?"

Rita was stunned speechless for a moment. Then she asked, "Runt, are you proposing to me?"

"Ummm...yes, Rita," Runt replied. "Would you marry me?"

"Runt, I don't know how to put this to you, but..." Rita started to say. Then she looked in her friend's eyes.

They held each other's gaze for what seemed like eternity. Finally, Rita said softly, "Okay. But if you start calling me 'Mrs. Runt', forget it, ya got it?"

"Er, got it," Runt said. "I do?" he half-asked, half said.

"I do," Rita replied, snuggling up next to him.

Flavio and Marita were overjoyed by their new daughter. Never was there a toon child that had so much lavished on her. Marita insisted on dressing Elan in the finest designer baby togs, while Flavio's purchases single-handedly caused the stock of the YUO Lotz toy company to skyrocket.

"I wonder if we've forgotten something?" Marita asked as they carted in the bags and bags of stuff.

"Diapers, madam?" Miss Giraffe, the housekeeper, asked calmly.

"Diapers?" Marita asked in confusion.

"You've noticed the little one needs changing, haven't you madam?" Miss Giraffe coaxed her.

"Changing?" Marita asked, feeling distressed.

"And she'll need feeding, and bathing this evening, and oh I don't know what else."

"Er, this is beginning to sound very un-chic..."

"Don't worry, my pet," Flavio said confidently. "I'm sure Miss Giraffe here will tend to these annoying little details."

"Oh, I will, will I sir?" Miss Giraffe retorted. "And if I said no, sir? What then, sir?"

"Ah...is it too much to ask?" Flavio asked humbly.

He remembered the last time Miss Giraffe walked out on them, and something told him that this might be even more serious.

"Well..." Miss Giraffe pondered, "I might consider it, sir. For a healthy raise, that is."

"How healthy?" Flavio asked warily.

Miss Giraffe leaned down and whispered in his ear. He suddenly turned as white as little Elan.

"But that's...that's..." he started to say, and then he saw the way Marita was looking at him.

"That's quite appropriate," Flavio said hastily. "Nothing but the finest in nannies for our child!"

Pinky appeared to adjust to 'motherhood' quite well, surprisingly. Like most things, it didn't seem to make much of an impression on him. As for the Brain, he decided to try and ignore the whole situation.

"I find myself faced with a fait accompli, Pinky," he tried to explain. "How annoying."

"Fait accompli, Brain?" Pinky asked. "I hear that's good on pizza..."

"Pinky, if I thought you capable of it, I would say you did this just to get back at me for that 'don't reproduce' remark," the Brain replied sourly. "Nonetheless, I will not let this deter me. I expect, however, that you will not let your 'delicate condition' interfere with our plans for world conquest. Do I make myself clear?"

"Right-o, Brain," Pinky said, dandling his child. "Look on the bright side-now you have two assistants!"

The Brain just turned away, shuddering.

Not all of the new mothers adjusted as well, however. A few days after the 'blessed events', Minerva suddenly took an unannounced leave of absence from the studio. Plotz was about to call in the police to investigate, when he received a postcard from her. It was a long, rambling, and almost incoherent diatribe, but the gist of it was that Minerva had decided to quit acting and retire from the world. She had run off to stay with the Wally Llama and was trying to "find herself."

"Figures, that worthless..." Slappy groused when word of Minerva's disappearance reached her.

"Don't be hard on her, Slappy," Dot replied softly. "I've felt like doing the same thing."

Slappy looked at the young mother with sympathy. Dot was probably the worst off of them all, but she tried not to show it. Being a mother for real was a LOT more difficult than just playing house, as she quickly discovered. Midnight feedings, the seemingly endless chore of cleaning up after little Smakko-not to mention the inevitable diaper changings-started taking their toll on the young Warner Sister.

It started taking its toll on the Warner Brothers as well. At first Yakko and Wakko thought it great fun to have another playmate, but like most children, their initial enthusiasm waned quickly. And, although they'd never admit it, they were a little annoyed at the way Dot was acting. She was no longer their Little Sister, but a Mother with Responsibilities.

"I hate to say it, bro," Yakko said finally, "but Dot's starting to act like a grown-up!"

"Yuck!" Wakko replied.

Dot was game, however, and tried to cope with it. Thankfully, Slappy was there for her. The old gray squirrel was a godsend. As the only one of the new mothers with any experience raising children, she was a constant, unfailing source of advice and support. Together, she and Dot worked out a daycare arrangement for the new arrivals between the Water Tower and the treehouse.

"What do you mean, I gotta sleep in the basement?" Skippy asked stubbornly when Slappy explained it to him.

"Like I said, kid, your bedroom's the only one large enough for the nursery," his aunt replied. "And hey, it won't be THAT bad-you can even play your stereo loud down there, okay?"

"Well..."

And so the studio settled back down to its usual (so to speak) routine. It looked as though this story would have, if not a completely happy, then at least a sensible, ending. But this, of course, is a horror story.


	5. Chapter 5

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Four

It was Skippy who first noticed that something was wrong. It happened one day when he and his aunt went on a walk with baby Spunky. Slappy had picked up an incredibly antique baby carriage from somewhere (it was so old, Skippy decided, that it might have been Slappy's when SHE was a baby), and together the three squirrels were strolling through Acme Park, enjoying the sunshine. It was there that they met Walter Wolf and Sid the Squid, playing checkers.

"Hey, Sid, look at that!" Walter said when he spotted Slappy.

"Forget it, Walter," Squid replied, concentrating on the game. "I remember the lasht time you got me to look away from the board-I'm not shtupid, you know."

"No, really!" Walter said excitedly, abandoning the game. "You gotta see this-it's rich!"

The old wolf walked over to the baby carriage and looked in.

"Ooh, cute!" he said, chuckling and going "kootchie-kootchie-koo!" as he tickled the little squirrel under her chin. "Yours?" he added, looking up at Slappy and grinning broadly.

"Yeah Walter, she's mine," Slappy sighed. "You got a problem with that?"

"What the heck?" Sid asked as he shuffled over towards the group. "You mean old Shlappy here'sh a...a MOTHER?!"

The old squid broke up in hysterics. Walter joined his friend, doubling over in laughter.

"I LOVE IT!" Sid howled. "CRAZY OLD SQUIRREL-YOU FINALLY GOT YERSELF IN TROUBLE! HAH!"

Slappy's eyes turned a deep shade of red, and wisps of steam drifted from her ears. Her hands gripped the baby carriage handle so tightly that it twisted like a pretzel, and her tail tied itself into a knot. Then she smiled. Handing over the baby carriage to Skippy, she said, "Hold this, kid. These yutzes need a lesson in the Gentle Art of Motherhood..."

Realizing what was about to happen, Skippy quickly pushed the baby carriage to a safe location behind a park bench, and together he and Spunky waited out the storm. After the explosions were over and the smoke cleared, the two little squirrels peeked up and surveyed the charred ruins of the park. Slappy stood there, dusting off her hands over the charred ruins of Walter and Sid.

"Why'd Mommy do that?" Spunky asked in a sweet, high pitched voice.

"Because Walter and Sid had it coming to them, silly!" Skippy whispered back, still awed at this example of his aunt's powers of destruction. "Beside's, it's funny!"

"Mommy hurt them," Spunky said in a determined voice. "That wasn't nice..."

"Who said anything about 'nice'?" Skippy asked crossly, turning to his baby cousin. "Wait a minute-you can TALK!?"

Spunky looked up at her cousin.

"Of course I can talk, silly," she said, flashing her eyelashes. "I'm a growing girl!"

It was true, the baby Koo-Koos had all learned to talk. In fact, they were growing and developing at an alarming rate. Within a few scene changes they looked almost Skippy's age. This shocked their mothers, but delighted Mr. Plotz.

"They can talk already?" he chuckled. "Wonderful! We can start them on dialogue lessons!"

It was Wakko who first notice that something was VERY wrong. He and Yakko were baby-sitting the Koo-Koos one afternoon. It was the Water Tower's turn to be the daycare center, and Yakko and Wakko had generously offered to look after the kids for a little while to give their sister a break. Yakko was trying to teach them all puns, with absolutely no success. Wakko, who was getting bored, wandered off into the kitchen for a snack. Little Smakko followed him and watched in fascination as his uncle prepared a Dagwood mega-sandwich.

"You don't like me, do you, Uncle Wakko?" Smakko asked suddenly.

Wakko stopped short and stared at the little Warner.

"Don't be silly, Smakko," he replied nervously. "I love you, you know that."

"You were just thinking how little time Mommy has to play with you and Uncle Yakko," the little Warner continued. "Why are you angry with me?"

Wakko looked at the child. A cold chill swept through him. He HAD been thinking that very thing. It was just a passing thought, and he had immediately regretted it and pushed it aside. But somehow, Smakko knew. Somehow, he had sensed Wakko's resentment.

"I...I'm not angry with you, Smakko," Wakko said. "What makes you think I am?"

"You're scared of me," Smakko replied. "First you think I'm taking Mommy away from you, and now you're frightened of me. Why?"

"How do you know this?" Wakko said trembling.

"Where is Melody?" Smakko said, abruptly changing the subject.

"Melody?" Wakko asked. He looked confused.

"The daughter of the mink," Smakko added. "She was supposed to be my partner."

"Your...partner?" Wakko asked, confused.

He looked over at the other Koo-Koos. He noticed that in their play, they had paired off, Spunky with Rory, and Dinky with Elan. It suddenly occured to Wakko that this was the way the little ones always played. And Smakko was always the odd kid out.

"Melody is-was-your playmate?" he asked.

"Uh-huh," Smakko said. "What did Minerva do with her?"

Wakko tugged his collar nervously. Everyone at the studio had felt a little guilty about Minerva's breakdown, and there developed a sort of unspoken agreement that nothing would be said about it in front of the Koo-Koos.

"How...how do you know these things?" he asked, trembling.

It was Runt who first noticed just HOW wrong things were becoming. One afternoon he and little Rory were playing Tag along the sidewalks of a downtown pedestrian mall that he and Rita liked to hang out at. Rita was out rustling up some scraps for supper, and had left Runt to care for the little one. It was a fun game, with Runt chasing the little white kitten down one end of the mall and being chased back up. However, after a few passes Rory missed one of Runt's sidesteps, and instead of tagging him, ended up in the middle of the street. Rory sat there for a second, trying to reorient himself. Unfortunately, the little kitten didn't see the car bearing down on him.

"RORY! NO!" Runt shouted.

Running as fast as he could, the big shaggy dog leapt out into the traffic. Grabbing Rory by the nearest available handle-his tail-Runt bounded out of the car's path, just barely avoiding disaster.

Runt set Rory gently down on the sidewalk on the far side of the street.

"That...that was a close one, son," he panted. "Definitely- definitely a close one..."

Rory looked down at his bruised tail.

"You pulled my tail, Daddy," the little kitten said.

"Sorry, Rory," Runt apologized. "I had to, you know."

"That hurt, Daddy," Rory said, frowning.

"Sorry..." Runt said miserably.

"It's not nice to hurt people," Rory continued, staring at Runt intently.

To Runt's surprise, the little white kitten's big blue eyes started to glow. As the glow grew stronger, the big dog felt a...presence...invade his mind. He tried to shut his eyes or turn away, but he found himself paralyzed. It was as if someone-or someTHING-had taken control of his body. Suddenly he found himself standing up, his legs moving not by his will. Unable to speak, he could only wonder why he was walking out into the traffic...

Later that evening, Rory rejoined his mother. Runt followed behind him slowly.

"What the heck happened to YOU, Runt?" Rita asked.

It was a rhetorical question-the crisscrossing tire tracks over Runt's mangled body said it all.

"I'm a bad dog, Rita," Runt moaned as he flopped down painfully beside her. "Definitely-definitely a bad dog..."


	6. Chapter 6

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Five

Runt's injuries took a long time to heal-unusually long, for a toon. During his convalescence in the studio infirmary, he was too embarrassed and confused to explain what had happened, and so Rory's little "talent" went unnoticed for a while. In the meantime, other members of the cast made similar unpleasant discoveries: A few days later, Skippy was raiding his aunt's cookie jar again. Just as he was about to sneak an armload out of the jar, Spunky walked in on him.

"Mommy says no cookies till after supper, Skippy!" she admonished him.

"Shhh..." Skippy shushed her. "Keep your mouth shut, kid, and I'll give you one..."

"No," Spunky said primly. "That's bribery. I'm telling!"

Skippy hopped down off of the kitchen counter and walked over to his little cousin, trying to look as threatening as a young squirrel could be (not very).

"You tell, and you'll be sorry, kid!" he said with what he thought was a menacing scowl.

Spunky frowned back at her older cousin. Suddenly, Skippy noticed her eyes start to glow. He stepped back as a wave of fear shot through him. He wanted to run, but he found that he couldn't move his arms or legs. Something else could, though, and he discovered that this "something" was making him walk back to the kitchen counter, climb up, and push the cookie jar off...

CRASH!

"What the heck is going on in there!?" Skippy heard his aunt yell. Unable to move, he sat there helplessly as Slappy marched into the kitchen. One look was all she needed.

"SKIPPY! How many times have I told you not to climb up on the counter when you're stealing cookies? Now look what you've done!"

As Spunky turned to smile at her mother, Skippy discovered that whatever had taken him over was gone. He pointed to Spunky and cried, "But...but...she MADE me do it, Aunt Slappy!"

Slappy gave her nephew a stern look.

"Aw come on, Skippy!" she growled. "That's the lamest excuse in the book! At least you can be more creative when you're lying to me!"

"But...but she DID!" Skippy wailed.

"That's enough, kid!" Slappy snapped. "TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!"

Skippy fled downstairs in tears. Slappy looked down at her daughter, who was still beaming.

"I don't trust that cute look, sweetie-pie," she said. "You don't happen to know what really went on here, do you?"

"Skippy was Bad, wasn't he?" Spunky asked innocently.

"Yeah, well..."

"So he was punished, and everything's all right again."

Slappy frowned a little. There was something wrong here, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Later that evening, Brain was busy pouring over the blueprints for his latest attempt at world domination. This time the plan was perfect-not even Pinky could mess it up.

"What are you doing, Daddy?" little Dinky said.

The little mouseling wandered over and peered over the Brain's shoulder at the plans.

"Do...NOT...call me 'Daddy', Dinky!" Brain grumbled. "Call me Uncle Brain-if you must-but NOT 'Daddy'!"

"Okay, Daddy-er, Uncle Brain," Dinky replied. "What are you doing?"

Brain sighed. Ignoring the little pest would be impossible, he decided. Fortunately, he had found that Dinky was a more attentive audience than his 'mother'. At least he would have the pleasure of explaining his plans to someone who might be able to understand them.

"I'm working on another Plan To Take Over The World," he explained. "It's very simple. Do you see this?" he said, holding up a little square object.

"It's a computer chip, Dad-er, Uncle Brain," Dinky replied eagerly.

"Not just any computer chip, lad," Brain said, warming to his subject. "This is a Plentidum chip-a charming little, slightly inaccurate, calculating tool. Now, if this chip were to be introduced in the Federal Reserve Bank computers, that slight inaccuracy will manifest itself as a tiny amount of unassigned money 'disappearing' from the wealth of this great Nation that passes through the Reserve each day. 'Disappeared', but not destroyed. That small fraction will just be sitting there, unbeknownst to anyone-anyone, except myself, of course. It will be a minute fraction to be sure, but given the...vast...quantities of money we are speaking of," he continued, his eyes growing large at the word "vast", "it will be enough to make me-in a little while-the richest mouse on earth. Rich enough to finance all of those plans I've been forced to preclude due to lack of capital..."

"Isn't that wrong, Uncle Brain?" Dinky asked innocently.

"Wrong?" Brain asked, surprised. "Dinky, I'm talking World Conquest here-what does 'wrong' have to do with it?"

"But isn't it stealing, Uncle Brain?"

"Stealing? Hardly. I am merely taking advantage of the weaknesses inherent in the accounting systems of this nation's pathetic excuse for a government."

"But the money's not yours, Uncle Brain."

"It IS mine, by right of my superior intellect, young child," Brain replied in a huff. "I don't know what foolishness Pinky's been filling that impressionable mind of yours with, but I will not have some petty 'do-gooder' dissuade me from my goals!"

Dinky frowned.

"You're Bad, Uncle Brain," he said firmly. "You should be stopped."

Brain looked at the little mouseling in shock. It was the first time anyone had said that to him.

"That is none of your concern, child," he said at last, turning away from Dinky.

Suddenly the Brain felt a burning sensation in his cranium. He rubbed his eyes, and turned back, only to see Dinky staring at him with bright, glowing eyes.

"What... what..." he started to say, as he felt an enormous pressure filling his mind and attacking his self-control.

He fought back. With the single-minded intensity of the truly obsessed, he fought back. And he was successful. Locked in a staring contest with Dinky's unearthly gaze, he stood his ground, sweat pouring from his brow. Finally, the glow in the little mouseling's eyes faded.

"I see you're stronger than the rest," Dinky said cryptically. "I can't stop you here. But there are more of us, enough to break even you, Uncle Brain. We'll stop your wicked schemes, just you wait..."


	7. Chapter 7

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Six

A grim pall settled over Warner Brothers Studios. No-one dared to say anything, but everybody knew it: there was something wrong about the little Koo-Koos. Something dangerous, and frightening. People started giving them a wide berth, and hiding whenever they appeared in public. Only their mothers (and Miss Giraffe) would still tend for them, and even they did so quietly, almost fearfully. It became a routine-the little ones would rise, have breakfast at each of their homes, then gather together to march off to the studio soundstage where the "Koo-Koo Kids Show"-Plotz's idea to put the little ones to work-was being produced. Two by two they would go, Spunky and Rory, Elan and Dinky, and little Smakko by himself in the rear.

As production on the show progressed, the cast members' private terrors started to become public. Trouble seemed to dog the entire series. Granted, assigning Mr. Director to the job didn't help matters, but the simple fact was that the children just weren't funny. Oh, they were cute-extremely cute, which made promotion of the series to the studio investors a snap. But the littlest Animaniacs couldn't make people laugh. Finally it reached a breaking point.

"I quit, Mister Producer Person!" Mr. Director said, storming into Plotz's office. "These kids...I can...no work with! The whole comedy thing...no good...it is!"

"What do you mean, 'you quit'?" Plotz thundered. "I relied on you! We are WAY behind schedule on this one. If you can't come up with 13 episodes in time for the season opener, you'll never work for this studio again, do you hear?"

"Don't...me...blame for this, Mister Person Producer Sir," the distraught director wailed. "These kids...not funny...no do the gag thing..."

"Impossible! They're Animaniacs!" Plotz shot back. "Comedy is in their blood!"

"Yes...with the cute...thing they do...comedy no..." Mr. Director said.

Plotz pounded the intercom button on his desk.

"Doctor Scratchinsniff! GET IN HERE!" The studio psychiatrist hustled into the CEO's office.

"Ja?" he asked nervously.

"Our Director here says that the Koo-Koos aren't funny, Scratchinsniff," Plotz said. "Now can you explain how offspring of those screwballs out there?" he added, jerking his thumb towards the office window, "can NOT be comedians?"

Scratchinsniff started shaking visibly. He rubbed his hands together nervously, and scuffed one foot against the floor.

"Ve-ve-vell, Mizter Plodz," he stuttered, "maybe they need lezzions in der humor, nein?"

"Fine! Anything!" Plotz snapped back. Calming down slightly, he said, "Humor lessons, eh? That gives me an idea. Maybe we can put those Warner kids to some use for a change..."

"No, no, Elan!" Wakko said, taking the mallet away from her. The little hippo girl had been using it as a pacifier. Handing it to Yakko, he said, "You're supposed to hit Dinky on the head with it after he steals your dolly, see? Like this..."

Wakko picked up the doll, and holding it up, laughed at his brother, as the script called for. Also following the script, Yakko brought up the mallet and WHACK! clobbered Wakko flat. Springing up and down like an accordion, Wakko said (somewhat loopily), "Se...see? Jus' like tha-a-a-t..."

Spunky, who was sitting next to Elan, frowned. So did the other Koo-Koos.

"That wasn't nice, Mister Yakko sir," the little squirrel said.

"Huh?" Yakko and Wakko asked in unison.

"You shouldn't hit Mister Wakko," Spunky said.

"But it's the joke..." Yakko said in confusion.

"You're being mean," Spunky said.

She and the other Koo-Koos stared at Yakko. Suddenly the children's eyes began to glow.

"You shouldn't be mean, Mister Yakko," Spunky continued calmly. "Mean people are Bad. You need to be punished."

Yakko looked at the children's glowing eyes. Suddenly he felt the presence come over him. Something was controlling him, making him reverse his grip on the mallet, making him raise it above his head, making him swing it down upon himself... Wakko gazed in horror as he saw his brother pound himself into the ground. The sight of those little children, their eyes glowing, manipulating his brother like a gang of sadistic puppeteers made his blood run cold. He fled from the studio soundstage, screaming.

They scraped Yakko off of the soundstage floor that afternoon, and shipped him off to the Intoonsive Care Unit of the studio infirmary. He was in pretty bad shape-for some reason, his body refused to bounce back from the pounding it had received.

"I haffn't seen anything like it," Doctor Scratchinsniff said to Dot, Smakko and Wakko as they waited outside.

"What's wrong with him?" Dot asked fearfully.

"It'z very strange," the studio psychiatrist continued. "You know, comedy cartoon injuries go avay as soon as they are no longer funny..."

"But this isn't funny, Doc," Wakko said. "At least, I don't think it is."

"I know-I don't understand. There should be nothing phyzzicly wrong vith Yakko. I can only assume that there is zomething pzychological. Zomething vithin his mind that refuses to let his body heal..."

Dot looked at her son in sadness and confusion. Little Smakko hadn't said a word since the incident. He just smiled as innocently as ever, as if the whole thing had never happened.

Wakko looked at his nephew and frowned. He knew he had to do something about this, but just what he couldn't think of.

Mister Director refused to resume production, and nobody in the studio was willing to take his place. It appeared that the Koo-Koos' so-called "acting" careers would thankfully be cut short. However, the next morning, Flavio and Marita walked into CEO Plotz's office, with Elan in tow.

"Mister Executive," Flavio said somewhat nervously, "I hear that little Elan's show is being cancelled. That is most distressing."

"It can't be helped, Flavio," Plotz replied sternly. "We can't bring it to closure in time or under budget, not without a director."

Or characters that can act, he thought to himself, looking at the little hippo-girl sitting on his desk. Little Elan looked back at him, frowning.

"You don't like our show," she said.

"Oh, no!" Plotz said a bit too hastily. "It's very cute. But I'm afraid it needs a little more..." He fumbled for the words.

"What is this word, 'comedy'?" Elan asked innocently.

Plotz looked nervously at the Hip Hippos.

"I don't know how to say this," he said at last. "But I'm afraid the investors won't back the show without more humor. We've shown some of the early takes to them. Frankly, they think it's the pits."

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Marita asked desperately. There was more than a hint of fear in her voice.

"Nothing, I'm afraid," Plotz replied. "We're ceasing production, as of today."

"No you aren't." Elan said quietly.

"What?" Plotz said, surprised.

"We're going to continue with the show," the little hippo girl continued. "It's very cute, and people need very cute shows to make them feel better. So you aren't going to stop us, are you?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at the CEO.

Plotz stammered.

"I...I have no choice, my dear," he said. "It'll ruin the studio if we went ahead with it."

"But you will go ahead with it. Papa and Mama can direct, can't they?" Elan replied, looking up at her parents.

Flavio and Marita glanced at each other. The fear in their eyes was unmistakable.

"Mr. Plotz, sir," Flavio said, leaning over the desk to whisper at him, "I...I would listen to little Elan." Lowering his voice further, he added, "Please!"

"This is ridiculous!" Plotz protested. "Who's running this studio, me or some kid?"

Suddenly Elan frowned, and her eyes began to glow.

"You don't like cuteness, do you?" she asked. "Only BAD people don't like cuteness..."

Plotz trembled as he felt his will slip away. "I...I like cuteness," he stammered. "I just can't...can't..."

"You can approve our show," Elan said quietly. "You will approve it. The world needs our cuteness. You need our cuteness..."

Plotz found himself pulling the Koo-Koo show contract out of his desk. Still wondering why he was doing this, he started writing in the order restarting production and transferring directorial control to Flavio and Marita Hippo. He handed the contract to the Hippos, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Plotz," Flavio said nervously. "I... I wish it didn't have to be this way, but there is nothing we can do..."


	8. Chapter 8

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Seven

"RALPH! RAAAAALPH!" Plotz yelled after the Hip Hippos had left.

"Er, youse called me, Mister Plotz?" the studio security guard replied, rushing in. He saw the Warner CEO sitting at his desk, pale as a sheet.

"Ralph, listen and listen good. Those little Koo-Koos..."

"Yeah, they're cute kids, right Mister Plotz?" Ralph asked absent-mindedly as usual.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION!?" Plotz screamed. "Those 'cute kids', as you call them, are going to ruin this studio. I don't care what you have to do, but I want them off the lot. At once!"

"But their parents..."

"I don't care what you tell them. GET THOSE KIDS OUT OF HERE!"

As Ralph headed out towards the soundstage where the Koo-Koos' show was being shot, he passed by the studio cafeteria. There he was spotted by Wakko and Dot, Slappy and Skippy, and Pinky and the Brain, who were huddled over one of the dining room tables commiserating over the daily "mystery meat" special.

"Hey, Ralph, where'ya going?" Wakko called to him.

"Ahh, Mr. Plotz told me to shut down the Koo-Koo show," Ralph said, frowning. "It's a shame; I really like those kids..."

"Good," Skippy said. "Will you be kicking them off the lot? I wanna watch..."

"Skippy, don't talk that way about your cousin," Slappy scolded him. Skippy just frowned and turned away.

"Beats me," Ralph said. "I saw Flavio and Marita head towards the soundstage, and they told me Mr. Plotz had ordered it back on. The Boss sure can be confusing, sometimes..."

"I don't get it," Dot said as they saw Ralph leave.

"I do, however," Brain said grimly. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Brain, but do you really think Spandex will help?" Pinky asked.

"Ladies and gentlemen (and you too, Pinky), we may be facing an 'us or them' situation regarding the Koo-Koos," Brain continued, refusing to be goaded by his partner's non-sequitur. He asked Slappy to pick him and Pinky up, and said, "Come. We must follow our intrepid security guard and investigate."

The toons arrived at the Soundstage a few minutes after the security guard. But by then they could see that it was too late. Ralph stood there, blocking the stage door. Little Rory sat on his shoulders, eyes glowing faintly.

"No visitors," the white kitten said as they approached.

"Er, no visitors," Ralph added in a confused voice, his eyes glancing nervously at the little creature on his shoulder.

Skippy ducked behind Slappy's back.

"See, Aunt Slappy-I TOLD you those kids were weird!" he whispered in a frightened voice.

"We just want to see our children," Slappy demanded. "Are you gonna stop us?"

"They don't want to see you," Rory replied softly.

"They...uh...they don't wanna see youse," Ralph repeated.

"But we MISS them!" Dot and Wakko added in unison.

"They're busy. Now go away."

"They's busy...now go...go away..."

"In the words of a certain science-fiction character, 'fascinating'," Brain said.

"I'll say," Pinky added. "Wonderful job, Rory-I don't even see your lips move!"

Rory arched his back, and hissed. He appeared genuinely shaken by Pinky's joke, far more than would seem normal. For a second, Ralph came to his senses, and shook his head.

"Huh? wha?" he started to ask. Then the little kitten regained his composure and seized control of Ralph once more.

"Go away..."

"Go...go aways..."

"We no longer need you..."

"We no longer needs youse..."

"Leave. Now..."

"Leave...leave nows..."

"I repeat-'fascinating'," Brain said as the toons retreated.

"I'm glad you found it educational, Mister Cultural Reference," Slappy retorted. "Would you kindly explain what just happened?"

"There's no time for explanations, madam," Brain replied. "Only for action. If I'm not mistaken-and I never am-there is a refrigerator stocked with pies in that sound-stage, isn't there? "

"Yes," Dot said. "But why?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, slapstick may be our only hope of salvation," Brain said, hopping off of Slappy's palm. "Now here is my plan-Wakko and Dot, Slappy and Skippy, I need you all to start a diversion. Do anything, just keep Ralph and Rory distracted. Pinky, come with me."

The foursome went back to Ralph and started "distracting" him. Slappy and Skippy started doing an ancient vaudeville routine about the bank guard and the burglar-"Whose Vault is This?"

Dot climbed up on Ralph's other shoulder and gave him a longing gaze, and Wakko started making gookie faces. Rory was hard-pressed to keep control. This gave Brain the opening he had anticipated. He grabbed Pinky and slipped in between Ralph's legs unnoticed.

The duo snuck into the sound-stage. There they saw the little Koo-Koos, getting ready for the next scene shoot. Flavio was lounging back in the director's chair, but even the regulation scarf, beret, and designer sunglasses failed to disguise his nervousness. Marita was busily running about, taking care of makeup and wardrobe, and seeing to the childrens' needs. Just watching her dash back and forth made Brain nervous. It was as if she was being pursued by some unseen hunter, and was trying to maintain a moving target.

The camera and stage crew were also terrified. They remained in hiding behind the stage lights and equipment, following Flavio's directions, but saying nothing. Fear permeated the studio like the cold draft of an icehouse.

Dinky and Elan had assumed their positions onstage. Spunky was sitting next to Flavio, and Smakko was in the background, getting another makeup re-do by Marita. Suddenly Dinky and Elan began to sing in sweet, angelic voices:

"It's such a yummy, sunny day,

Why don't you come down and play?

With the Koo-Koo Kids today,

you'll smile your cares away,

On this yummy, sunny day!"

"Umm, Brain, that's a pretty silly song, don't you think?" Pinky asked as the two mice scurried around back. "I mean, it isn't a real zinger, if you catch my drift..."

Brain looked at his partner, amazed that Pinky had finally managed to find something-anything-more stupid than himself.

"I'm impressed with you, Pinky," he said finally. "But enough is enough! SOMEONE has to put a stop to this!"

They sneaked over to the backstage refrigerator and Brain deftly assembled a bizarre contraption out of spare stage ropes and other odds and ends. Looping one end of it around the fridge's door handle, he then jerked on the rope, pulling the door open. After a few more similar maneuvers he and Pinky had a cream pie strung up from the stage rafters. Brain hushed Pinky, eyed the distance to the stage carefully and adjusted the ropes for proper swing-length. Just a few centimeters more, he thought to himself, and that wretched duet will finally be over.

Unfortunately, his thoughts were a little too clear. Suddenly Spunky looked up and spotted him. Dinky and Elan stopped singing and walked over to join the little squirrel. Smakko followed, as did Rory. They all gazed up at the Brain, eyes glowing. Suddenly he began to sweat profusely as he felt the combined wills of the little Koo-Koos hammer at his mind.

"Must...fight...it..." he hissed through clenched teeth.

Pinky stared at his partner, wondering what on earth had come over him.

"Narf..." he whispered. "Brain, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Ask...me...a...question, Pinky!" Brain said, his hold on his mind becoming more and more tenuous. "Quantum physics...topology theory...anything! Must...have...something...to...think about!"

Ralph, now free of Rory's control, sat down in a daze. The foursome dashed in and saw the little Koo-koos attacking the Brain. They were about to rush them when Smakko turned and stared at them.

Wakko screamed "NO! Get BACK!" He grabbed his sister by the arm and practically dragged her out of the sound-stage. Slappy grabbed Skippy and beat a hasty retreat as well.

"Aunt Slappy?" Skippy asked incredulously. He had never seen his aunt run from a fight before.

Dot struggled in her brother's grasp. "We've got to go back and help Brain!" she cried.

"It's too late, sis," Wakko said grimly. "We'd just end up like Yakko."

"No!" Dot shouted. "Little Smakko'd NEVER hurt me!"

Suddenly there was a high-pitched scream. The foursome turned and looked back into the now silent sound-stage.


	9. Chapter 9

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Eight

Slappy, Skippy, Wakko, and Dot walked cautiously into the studio sound-stage. Suddenly Slappy stood in front of them, shielding them from the scene.

"Don't look, kids, it ain't pretty," she said grimly.

"Not pretty" was an understatement. Meringue was everywhere. In the midst of the carnage hung the Brain-strung up by his tail from the tangle of ropes that once was his contraption. He had clearly been the victim of his own device, only turned back on him a hundredfold.

"I am in considerable pain..." he whispered as Pinky ran over to him. His sidekick cut him loose, and gently lowered him onto the floor.

The Koo-Koos gathered around Pinky and the Brain. Their eyes were no longer glowing, but their expressions were just as frightening. No sign of pity or remorse was on their features. Not even anger-they just looked down on the two lab mice with the same emotionless detachment of the scientists at ACME Labs. Even Dinky looked at his "mother" with no trace of feelings. Suddenly, Spunky turned around and looked at Flavio.

"We can't have any more interruptions," she said flatly. "We'll be going home now, but only to gather our things. We'll be living here in the sound-stage from now on."

Wakko edged away from the group. He motioned Skippy to follow him. The little squirrel looked up at his aunt, who nodded her approval, and the two toon children left the mothers to deal with the situation. A few minutes later, Dot and little Smakko were walking back to the water tower.

"Why are you sad, Mommy?" Smakko said.

He didn't need any psychic talent to sense it-Dot's expression spoke volumes.

"Why, Smakko?" Dot asked softly. "First Yakko, and now Brain-why are you doing this?"

Smakko looked confused.

"Uncle Yakko was hurting Uncle Wakko, and Mister Brain was about to hurt everybody. They were being Bad, so we stopped them and punished them. Why should you be sad about that?"

"Smakko, does the word 'slapstick' mean anything to you?" Dot asked. "Noone was really getting hurt there. Can't you see the joke?"

"Why should people laugh at other people getting hurt?" Smakko asked innocently.

"It's not that..." Dot tried to explain. Finally, she said, "Smakko, you and the rest of the Koo-Koos can read our minds, right? Well, read mine and tell me what you see."

Smakko looked at his mother.

"You're sad," he said. "And I'm... I'm the one making you sad..."

"Aren't you Koo-Koos supposed to make people happy?" Dot asked. "Isn't that what your show is all about?"

The two continued walking on in silence. Meanwhile, Slappy was taking her daughter back to the treehouse.

"You're serious about moving out?" she asked the little white squirrel.

"You can't stop us," Spunky replied. "You think we are destroying the studio, but there's nothing you can do to prevent it."

"Oh swell," Slappy said cynically. "I guess you're right-from now on I suppose we should just turn in our dynamite and anvils for lollypops and sunshine."

Spunky hissed. As Slappy turned, she saw her daughter trembling with rage.

"Don't...EVER...make fun of our show, Mother," she snarled.

Slappy looked at her daughter in surprise.

"A little thin-skinned, aren't we?" she asked.

"You won't stop us," Spunky said, becoming calm once more. "I know why the Brain wanted to pie us. It won't work. We have a right to survive, just as you toons do. And we will survive, even if we have to destroy you all..."

Slappy watched in silence as Spunky packed her things in a little suitcase and walked out of the treehouse door. The old squirrel closed it behind her gently, and sat down to her knitting. She was alone for the evening. Skippy had called from the Water Tower to say he was going out to see a movie with Wakko, and that he wouldn't be back until late. Ordinarily, Slappy would object to him staying out after hours, but lately she'd been giving the kid more leeway. It wouldn't have made much difference anyway. Skippy had taken to staying away from home-away from Spunky-as much as he could manage. Slappy frowned. It was bad enough that the Koo-Koos were taking over the studio, she thought as the needles clicked to and fro, but did they have to drive a wedge between her and her nephew, too? Slappy heard a knock on her door.

"Ahh, nuts!" she said as she slipped a stich.

She went over to open the door, only to find Dr. Scratchinsniff.

"Huh? What brings you here, Doc?" she asked, startled.

"Zhhhh..." the studio psychiatrist hissed. "Iz Spunky here?" he whispered.

"Nah, the kid's moved out," Slappy replied. "Now can you tell me what the heck's going on here before my arm falls asleep holding this door open?"

"Could you come over to mein house this evening?" Scratchinsniff asked.

"Gee, Scratchy, I didn't know you cared," Slappy said, batting her eyelashes at him. "But don't you think you can come up with a more romantic spot?"

"Nein, nein!" Scratchinsniff said, blushing. "I haff something to show you!"

"Hey, if you're in that big a hurry maybe we better stay here. Skippy won't be back until after midnight..."

"Vill you cut it vith the jokes!" Scratchinsniff snapped. "This has to do vith the Koo-koos!"

"Ahh...well, alright," Slappy said. "But if you get fresh with me, we're going straight home!"

On the way to Scratchinsniff's home, the psychiatrist drove past the other Animaniacs parents' homes, tried to gather up as many of them as he could. Unfortunately, the only one he could get was Dot. ACME Labs was closed for the evening, Rita and Runt had gone into hiding, apparently, and Flavio and Marita were holed up in their penthouse and refusing visitors.

The three stepped into the darkened front hall, and Scratchinsniff turned on the lights. Much to Slappy and Dot's surprise, the livingroom was made up as a nursery. Children's toys were strewn about, and a playpen stood over in one corner.

"Scratchy, what heck's this?" Slappy asked.

"Gee, I didn't know you were a dad..." Dot added.

"It'z a long story," Scratchinsniff said. He went over to the TV set in the other corner and popped a tape into the VCR. "Maybe this will egzlpain more easily."

Dot and Slappy stared in shock at the TV screen. There, playing in the middle of Scratchinsniff's living room, was baby Melody.


	10. Chapter 10

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Nine

"I know vat you're vanting to ask," Scratchinsniff said. "Before Minerva ran off, she came here vith Melody. Poor mink. She vas completely raving looney-screaming about Melody and how this vas some terrible plot to ruin her career. I vas afraid for the safety of the child, zo I asked her to leave Melody vith me for the evening. The next day I found out she had taken off for the Himalayas."

"But howcome you kept it a secret?" Dot asked, perplexed.

"I think I can answer that," Slappy said. "At first you didn't want to embarrass Minerva, in case she came to her senses and returned, right?"

"Ja," Scratchinsniff replied sadly. "And then, ven the veirdness started happening, I couldn't say anything. If the other Koo-koos found out vat had happened to her..."

"Say, where is Melody?" Dot asked suddenly.

Scratchinsniff winced. "She-she's not here," he said.

"What do you mean?" Slappy asked. "What happened to her?"

"Umm...I had better show you," Scratchinsniff replied as he got up and walked over to a dresser.

He pulled out a small box from one of the drawers, set it upon the coffee table and opened it carefully. It was full of a sparkling white powder.

"What's this?" Dot asked.

"This...vas...Melody," Scratchinsniff said.

Dot looked at the box, then she reached out to put her finger in the powder.

"NEIN!" Scratchinsniff shouted. "Don't touch it-it'z Saccharin!"

Slappy grabbed Dot's arm before she could touch the powder.

"Careful, kid!" the old squirrel snapped. "That stuff's the most deadly poison known to toons!"

"I don't get it-how could Melody be made of saccharin?" Dot asked as Scratchinsniff closed the box and put it away. "And what did you DO to her?"

"Nothing," Scratchinsniff replied sadly. "Or perhapz everything, I don't know. Here. Let me show you the last tape I made of Melody..." Scratchinsniff pulled a box full of videotapes out of the closet.

"I found out about Melody's powers about the same time as the rest of you," he explained as he searched through the box. "Naturally, as pzychiatrist, I vas fascinated. I videotaped her development, hoping to learn something-anything-that might help me counteract them."

He popped in the tape, and fast-forwarded it for a few minutes. Finally, he hit "Play" and the screen came into focus. Baby Melody was sitting in her playpen, peeling a banana. She tossed the peel aside and devoured the fruit. Then Scratchinsniff's voice came from offscreen, saying, "Melody, liebchen, could you come here?"

Melody walked across the room, looking up at some unseen object that had fascinated her. She failed to notice the banana peel, and sure enough, went head over heels. She landed with a thump, the banana peel landing "plop!" on her head. Dot and Slappy giggled. Scratchinsniff, however, just said grimly, "Now vatch!"

Baby Melody sat up. Scratchinsniff's laughter could be heard off-screen. She looked up, and saw the banana peel on her head, and began to cry. The cry quickly became a tantrum, and the little mink-child began kicking and screaming. Suddenly, like Mount St. Helens erupting, she exploded into a cloud of sparkling powder.

Scratchinsniff went over to the TV and shut off the tape. Dot and Slappy just sat there, stunned. Finally Dot asked, "What happened?"

"I still do not understand it fully," Scratchinsniff said, "but tell me-haff any of the Koo-Koos ever cried or thrown a tantrum?"

"No," Slappy said. "Spunky never put up a fuss, not even once. I always figured she was a little weird about that, but hey, it was a relief after Skippy."

"Smakko's always been a little angel," Dot said plainly.

"It sounds odd," Scratchinsniff said, "but I think Melody exploded because she couldn't handle the pzychological stress of throwing a tantrum. But I don't see why that should happen. After all, she vas a child, and a toon child at that..."

"I do," Slappy said.

"Huh?" Dot asked, confused.

"Saccharine," Slappy said.

"Saccharine?" Scratchinsniff repeated. "I don't follow you."

"Too bad, you might see something interesting," Slappy quipped. "But don't you get it? Melody blew up because she was made of saccharine. She never was a real toon-just a cheap imitation of one. She threw that tantrum because she couldn't stand lookin' foolish, and it destroyed her. And that's exactly how we're going to stop them," the old squirrel added with a dark gleam in her eyes.

"Stop them?" Dot asked.

"Brain had the right idea before they got to him, kid," Slappy said. "Remember how Rory reacted to Pinky's dumb joke? Slapstick, satire-that's their weakness. They have no sense of humor, so they overreact to anything that makes 'em look foolish. That's how we can destroy them."

"Destroy them?" Scratchinsniff said. "You mean-blow them up, just like Melody?"

"NO!" Dot cried. "We CAN'T do that, Slappy! Not to my Smakko!"

Slappy fixed Dot with a steely gaze.

"Brain was right, Dot," she said grimly. "it's either them or us. If we don't stop them, and stop them fast, this whole studio will be going to the hot place-and I don't feel like trying out a new handbag."

"But Smakko's not like the others!" Dot pleaded. "He's a real toon, I KNOW he is!"

Slappy sighed.

"I wish you were right, kid. I wish you were right..."


	11. Chapter 11

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Chapter Ten

As Dot and Dr. Scratchinsniff contemplated Slappy's grim proposal, a terrific explosion rattled the windows of the psychiatrist's home. The threesome dashed out the front door, and saw the fireball rising up from the center of the Warner Brothers Studio lot.

"OHMYGOSH!" Dot screamed. "THE WATER TOWER!"

The threesome dashed for Scratchinsniff's car. As they dived in, Slappy yelled, "I'M DRIVING!"

No-one argued. Slappy jammed the car in gear and tore off towards the studio at breakneck speed.

They arrived just as the smoke cleared. The Water Tower, or what was left of it, swayed dangerously back and forth on its charred legs. The studio lot looked like it had just been used for a nuclear bomb test. Windows were blown out of buildings, and loose debris was flying around everywhere. Dot just looked around, stunned at the destruction of her home.

"Well, at least your family wasn't home," Slappy said with uncharacteristic sympathy.

"aunt...slappy?" came a feeble voice from the pile of rubble at the Water Tower base. "is that...you?"

Slappy's eyes flew open.

"SKIPPY!?" she shouted, dashing towards the source of the voice.

Tossing debris right and left like a manic gopher, she burrowed down into the pile. Then, ever so gently, she picked up the limp form of her nephew.

"Skippy..." she said weakly.

Though only her nephew was in a position to see it, there were tears in her eyes. Dot suddenly realized Skippy wasn't alone.

"Scratchy, help me!" she shouted, jumping into the hole Slappy had made. "Wakko's down here too!"

Together the two dug until Dot spotted a red cap in the rubble. With great effort, they managed to extract the younger Warner Brother from the pile. They gently carried him out and set him down next to Slappy, who was still cradling her nephew.

"What happened, kid?" Slappy asked. "I thought you and Wakko were seeing 'Revenge of the Chain-saw Zombies', or something."

"I'm sorry, Aunt Slappy," Skippy said faintly. "Wakko and I...were trying to get Smakko...get him away...from the others. But they...they found us out," he said, his voice growing fainter, "...chased us here...chased us...chased..."

The little squirrel passed out in his aunt's arms. Slappy just hugged him gently, unable to say a word. Dot, meanwhile, was trying to revive her brother. Finally, she saw signs of conciousness.

"Wakko, what happened?" she pleaded. "What did they do?"

Wakko opened one eye. "Gaggy...bag..." was all he could manage to say.

By this time Ralph and Plotz had arrived, along with a host of studio security. Scratchinsniff picked up Wakko, and led Slappy and Dot away towards the studio infirmery.

"Come on," he said gently.

They brought Skippy and Wakko to the Intoonsive Care Unit, and had Miss Nurse put them to bed next to Yakko and Brain. Then they went out to the infirmary lobby. Slappy quietly sat down and opened her purse. She reached in, and pulled out the absurd tangle of mechanics that comprised her infamous Slapper. Taking out a small screwdriver, she started tinkering with the device.

"Dot," she said after a while, "would you get me some size 18 comedy cream pies? A half-dozen should be enough."

"You're going to go through with it, Slappy?" Dot asked as she came back from the infirmary cafeteria.

"No choice, kid," the old squirrel said as she started loading the pies into the machine. She carefully retracted the mechanical arm, and snapped the purse shut. "I think I can get into range for long enough to clap twice. If not, or if they take me over..." Slappy handed the sixth pie back to Dot. "You know what to do," she said quietly.

"It won't work," Dot said. "They'll know what you're up to, the minute you get near them.

"I think I can help there," Doctor Scratchinsniff said, walking in from the ICU. The two toons stared at him expectantly.

"I've just been talking vith the Brain, asking him how he vithstood the Koo-Koos' attack for as long as he did. He said it vas a simple matter of superior brain-power."

"Well, he would say something like that," Slappy retorted.

"Nein, nein," the psychiatrist said. "I know, Brain is an egotist of the vorst sort, but he has a point: He vithstood the attack because he concentrated-focused his mind on trivial things like multiplication tables and such. He could stop them, for a little while."

"And you think Slappy could keep them from reading her mind by thinking up nonsense?" Dot asked.

"Egzactly," Scratchinsniff replied. "At least for a few minutes."

"That's all I'll need," the old squirrel said as she hefted her purse and headed out.

They reached the studio sound-stage where the Koo-Koo Kids' Show was being produced. However, an angry mob had beaten them to it. Apparently the destruction wrought by the Water Tower's explosion angered people enough for them to overcome their fear of the little terrors. They were milling around outside, waving torches, clubs (and even a pitchfork or two), and shouting "KILL THE MONSTERS! KILL THE MONSTERS!"

"We gotta stop these yutzes before they all get themselves clobbered!" Slappy snapped as they tried to fight their way through the mob.

"Yeah, but how?" Dot asked.

At the front of the mob were Rita and Runt, barking and hissing at the soundstage door. Runt, caught up in the crowd's enthusiasm, was trying to be a one-dog battering ram, and hurled himself repeatedly at the door.

Finally, the door opened, and Spunky and the rest of the Koo-Koos filed out. The little squirrel looked at Runt, eyes glowing. Runt stopped in his tracks. Rita leapt out in front of him, saying, "Oh no, you don't, you little..." when she caught sight of Rory. "Stop this, son!" she cried. "Stop this RIGHT NOW!"

Rory looked at his mother, and his eyes started glowing too. Rita stared helplessly at her son, and whispered, "Rory...no..."

Suddenly Rita and Runt found themselves backing off, and then turning towards each other. Neither could help themselves, not even when Runt sprang on Rita, fangs bared. The two little Koo-Koos stood there dispassionately, watching Rita and Runt tear each other to pieces. Meanwhile, the other Koo-Koos scanned the crowd, catching anyone who dared approach too close and turning them on their neighbor. The crowd quickly backed off, leaving Slappy and Dot in front.

"Get back, kid," Slappy whispered. "You're only putting yourself in danger here."

Dot backed off and worked her way along the edge of the crowd. Slappy started walking towards the Koo-Koos, trying to judge how long it would take to get them all within Slapper range. Trivia, huh? she thought to herself. Okay, I can do that...

The Koo-Koos stared at the old squirrel heading towards them. Unlike the rest of the mob, here was a mind that wasn't transparent to them. Instead, it was clouded by...bad jokes?

"A guy came up to me and said he hadn't had a bite in a week," Slappy said as she came nearer. "So I bit him!"

The Koo-Koos' eyes started glowing. This one was not responding. Instead, she was resisting, just like the mouse.

"I lived in this apartment once that was so small," Slappy continued, starting to get into range, "the mice were hunchbacked!"

She started to slow down. The pressure on her mind was growing, dispite her attempts to deflect it. She slowly, painfully, set one foot in front of the other, inching closer and closer. Just a few feet more...

The Koo-Koos' eyes flashed brighter as they intensified their efforts to probe the old squirrel's mind. Although they couldn't see what it was, they could tell she was hiding something. Something in her purse. Something dangerous. Something that shouldn't be allowed to get too close.

Slappy's approach ground to a halt, a few steps out of range. She struggled to come up with another lame joke. A bad pun, anything. Anything that would give her those extra few steps. But it was no good-the pressure on her was too great. She started to feel the Koo-Koos' minds pierce her own, starting to feel her control slip away...

Meanwhile, from around the other end of the sound-stage, Dot started sneaking up on little Smakko. Her plan was simple-grab her son while Slappy took care of the rest of the Koo-Koos, and run. She was just about there when Smakko turned and stared at her.

"Mommy?" he asked.

Dot froze. She tried to distract her mind the way Slappy had, but it was too late. Smakko could read her like a book.

"Why, Mommy?" Smakko asked, his eyes starting to glow. "Why?"

Dot just stared at her son, waiting for the end. Then Smakko looked down.

"I...I understand, Mommy," he said. "I'm sorry."

The little white Warner turned away and walked over towards the paralyzed Slappy. He gently plucked the purse from the old squirrel's arm and carried it back to the middle of where the Koo-Koos were standing. Then he clapped twice.

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

The Slapper slammed down on each of the Koo-Koos, covering them all with custard cream. They all stood there, stunned. Then the crowd, which had been crouching down, cowering in terror, stood up. They looked at the gooey mess covering the Koo-Koos, and someone started to chuckle. Someone else chuckled too, and within seconds the whole crowd was rolling on the ground laughing.

"Stop it!" Spunky shouted, becoming livid as she realized what the crowd was laughing at. "STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING, ALL OF YOU!"

Seeing that her outburst only made the crowd laugh more, she began to cry.

"STOP IT! THIS IS NOT CUTE! DON'T LAUGH AT US!"

Rory, Elan, and Dinky picked up on Spunky's tantrum and began to cry as well. Suddenly, there was an enormous explosion, and a billowing clowd of sparkling white where they once stood.

Little Smakko just stood there in silence. He looked at where his companions had been, then at the crowd, at Slappy, and finally at his mother. Saying, "I'm sorry," one last time.

He started to cry. Then he broke down-literally. In a gentle puff, he disintegrated into a pile of sparkling white powder, and joined his companions.


	12. Chapter 12

This story is the work of Troy Klinger. Please refer to the primary disclaimer at the top of the prologue chapter for further details, if you have not yet read it.

Epilogue

Dot Warner sat on one of the benches in Martin Scorsese Park, feeding the pigeons. Bobby, Squit, and Pesto argued and fought with each other over the kernels of popcorn the Warner Sister tossed idly onto the sidewalk.

"Geesh, all this time and only a lousy walk-on cameo at the end of the story," Bobby said.

"Well, at least we'll get paid for a speaking part," Squit replied. "Hey Pesto, you're missing one," he added, pointing to a kernel by his companion's feet.

"I'm missing one?" Pesto said angrily. "Did you say I'm missing one? What-am I some kind of engine not hitting on all cylinders, is that it?"

"No, I just said you didn't see one," Squit tried to explain.

"So what, now I'm blind?" Pesto shouted. "ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!"

Dot sighed as she saw the two pigeons come to blows. She tossed the popcorn bag away, and sighed again. Slappy wandered by and spotted her. The old squirrel walked over and sat down next to her.

"How ya doing, kid?" she asked softly.

Dot sighed once more.

"Okay..." she said finally.

Slappy looked at her.

"I know how you're feeling," she said. "I still miss Spunky, too-even if she was a monster."

"Slappy, could I ask you something?"

"Sure, kid."

"Didn't you once say no-one ever really dies in cartoons?"

"Um...yeah, I did, once."

"But Smakko wasn't a toon after all, was he? I mean, he fell apart just like the others..."

Slappy put her arm around Dot.

"Let me tell you something, kid," she said gently. "In all the years I've been in this business, there's been only been one truth I've ever discovered: In a cartoon, anything's possible."

Dot looked up at the old squirrel.

"You really mean it?" she asked. "I mean-could Smakko come back?"

"Somehow kid, I don't think we've seen the last of those little Koo-Koos," Slappy said.

"Thanks, Slappy." Dot said, the two toons hugging each other and smiling.

They looked out over the park, and saw Buttons chasing Mindy once again. And saw him get clobbered once again as soon as he approached her.

"Silly puppy!" giggled the little child.

The little blonde-haired, blue-eyed child.

Slappy and Dot looked at each other, and stopped smiling.

THE END


End file.
